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[Dec. 22nd, 2004|12:32 pm] |
...I spoke with her about something I've never been able to with anyone, and we were on the same wavelength; wow. In fact, she reassured me.
...I really love that girl, and I hope that she knows that. |
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[Dec. 22nd, 2004|10:03 pm] |
Anyone who knows me well knows that a lot has happened to me lately; it has been an interesting month - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
present: (because that is where I am)
First, the practicalities: I appear to be trapped in what Max Weber termed modern man's 'iron cage'. I go to school to persue a liberal arts education, and to enjoy what I learn. I was perhaps more idealistic about this before actually attending university, because when I arrived, I realized that for most, it is simply a 'trade school'; it is viewed as a means to an end, rather than an end in itself. Certain things in life on can persue, and certain things have to ensue. In searching for beauty/happiness/etc., one must do what they love (I firmly believe this). If they persue this, hopefully the 'practicalities' will ensue. If one persues instead only the practicalities (job etc.), then one is doomed to failure (even if they succeed).
The education system simply does not work. It does not reward those who deserve it, and the obsession of the many purely pedantic administrators seem to focus on end results and numbers, letting 'people' slip through the cracks. This is akin to the current legal system, which persues only the 'letter of the law', while letting the 'spirit of the law' slip through its fingers. Why is this so? How may we change this (on a greater level than N=1)?
future: (since all things fall in this light)
I am not one to make appointments for coffee a month in advance; in the relative short term, most things occur spontaneously, and are on-the-spot; I love this.
The long term, however, is quite another story. After I finish my BA degree (4 years and some change, hopefully), I wish to: a) travel and b) go to teachers college. I am not sure as of yet in what order this will occur, but I know that these are two things I want to do. Fresh young minds are the worlds most valuable natural resource, and lets face it - many parents, and an overwhelming number of teachers are not taking their jobs seriously. I told someone very close to my heart the other day that I want to be the teacher I wish I had growing up - in a young person, many problems are SCREAMING out to adults, and yet go unheeded; I wish to change this, even if just for one person.
I want a family. I have come to this conclusion with great firmness and conviction, ironically when times seemed to me their worst. I want to love, to have that love reciprocated, and to have this love expressed in children. Love and trust make the family; I want to love and trust.
(from 'I've seen it all' with Thom Yorke and Bjork):
"I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark.
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,
And that is enough, to want more would be greed.
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!" |
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