| the.internet.is.strange |
[Feb. 8th, 2010|04:24 pm] |
So, a photo of mine from 2 days ago was today's Torontoist 'photoist', which usually means I get a few more hits / comments, but today's group included the following:
"Hey,
That is a good picture. The funny thing is the picture is of me and my dog Maple!! I remember you on the bus asking to take a pic. That is so funny that I found this pic. Weird..."
re. this photo, as seen a few posts ago...:
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| second.attack |
[Feb. 7th, 2010|06:50 pm] |
Almost exactly one week later, and ironically in the same part of the GTA, I had another crippling panic attack. My muscles didn't cease up this time, but I still felt like I was drowning on the inside, was delirious, paranoid, and in intense emotional and physical pain. I was also trapped in a car, once again, on a highway (with my family this time).
This has got to stop.
I am going to change the way I live, I think, control what I can, hold onto what I can hold on to.
I feel like I have been leading two lives, for some years now; some of those people close to me have been so loving, so caring, and I have strung them along. Things need to change.
Little things, first:
eat less:
- greasy food
- pointlessly spicy food
eat more:
- vegetables
- bananas (potassium!)
- vitamins
drink less:
- caffeine
- alcohol
drink more:
- natural juice
- soda water
read more:
- Annie Dillard
- W.G. Sebald
- urban scape books / photo books
- the hundreds (thousands?) of dollars of shit on your bookshelf that you are amassing for a time which will never exist.
spend more time:
- reading (see above)
- watching movies
- in conversation with friends
- properly composing photographs
I cannot control certain things, but I CAN not let those things control my life.
I shall return to this list as often as possible.
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| wandering.about |
[Feb. 7th, 2010|04:01 pm] |
Myself and two friends went out wandering aimlessly yesterday.
I ran into many a small, cute animal.
Some enjoyed staring contests with other TTC riders...
Skritchie-attacks for fat cats at Kensington Rugs...
Happy pupples at an intersection...
Fun on the Danforth...
Olympic-sized joints (no wonder it's in BC...heh)...
I just had to do this, and then photograph it...
An aimless, yet fun day out. |
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| you.made.me.dinner |
[Feb. 2nd, 2010|08:37 pm] |
Bacon-wrapped chicken scallions, hand-peeled and mashed potatoes with bacon etc, and caesar salad. Yummmm. Thank you!
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| twisted.metal |
[Feb. 1st, 2010|08:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | boards of canada - 'kaini industries' | ] |
"What the fuck are those flaky-bits?"
"...that would be SNOW, dude."
(Of COURSE it's abandoned ; ) |
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| panic.button |
[Feb. 1st, 2010|05:05 pm] |
After a full day of exploring with Tomms, HI-LITE, RideMyPony, and Evidence, we headed to Tomms' place when it hit me: numbness, and then tingling all over my body, straining (seemingly so, anyhow) heart, then finally, loss of muscle control. I watched as my fingers curled into fists from a numbed face which could barely talk, complete inability to do anything.
Thanks to those guys, I was able to calm down and get some water into me...regain control, you know the score...
Panic Attack's suck.
On a lighter note, here's last week's blogTO post:
http://www.blogto.com/city/2010/01/a_ghost_ship_on_the_leslie_st_spit/ |
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| stars.in.the.sky |
[Jan. 28th, 2010|08:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | air - 'kelly watch the stars' | ] |
It was cold, but we still went back to 'our ship'...
There were stars in the sky out there on the Spit.
Can you see them?
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| ... |
[Jan. 24th, 2010|07:54 pm] |
insanity.
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| on.regret |
[Jan. 17th, 2010|10:28 pm] |
(Some Shakespeare shit that makes my regrets about _____ make sense, care of Estabon Sardis...)
Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoy'd no sooner, but despised straight;
Past reason hunted; and no sooner had,
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait,
On purpose laid to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit, and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof,--and prov'd, a very woe;
Before, a joy propos'd; behind, a dream:
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
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| lunch.today |
[Jan. 17th, 2010|10:24 pm] |
(It was pretty good. ) |
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| in.the.quiet.of.winter |
[Jan. 15th, 2010|10:58 pm] |
(Testing the rooftopping capabilities of my new pocket-camera... )
(PASS. ) |
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| What time is it, Mr. Wolf? |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|09:39 pm] |
(Taken with the macro setting on my new camera -- the watch was a Christmas gift...) |
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| how.to.live |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|07:50 pm] |
(The first shot from my new camera, a Leica D-LUX 4.) |
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| friends.like.these |
[Jan. 9th, 2010|01:11 am] |
(from a recent interview about me and UE)
“He's a character and a half,” says Tom Ryaboi. “You really have to know him to understand the full scope and complexity of the man. He's one hell of a photographer, a better writer, and an even better friend.”
Thanks buddy - - right back atcha' (not that you read my Lj and will ever see this, you f&*&9er) ; P |
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| onwards. |
[Jan. 7th, 2010|11:17 am] |
Both of these were taken below a set of abandoned cement silos in West Toronto. The second picture is light-painted with coloured gels... |
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| the.fall |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|01:15 pm] |
So,
Monday I slipped on ice outside my house and scraped down all the stairs.
I resemble a mutant burn victim right now.
2010 is NOT starting out well.
(Gross, I know. Hopefully it all heals properly...) |
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| finding.asylum |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|07:58 pm] |
(from the top: Willard psych exterior, Willard psych interior, Summit Manor infrared, Buffalo psych infrared)
I am tired of living in life's shadow.
It is the time of year for change.
I will embrace that. |
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| last.days |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|11:18 pm] |
The remains of Bunge Canada, Toronto. |
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| old.dog |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|08:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | pj harvey - 'it's you' | ] |
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| a.life.lived.in.memory |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:19 pm] |
I recalled Bunge today.
As it turns out, two police officers did as well.
They were nice, and left myself, Tomms, and AIR33 to our thing...
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| birds.of.a.feather |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|09:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | air - 'sex born poison' | ] |
HI-LITE and Dresden at an abandoned ballroom...
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| shadows (I-III) |
[Dec. 10th, 2009|10:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | robin guthrie - 'elemental' | ] |
Abstraction, while exploring with HI-LITE, Dresden, and Daishi...
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| and.on.these.strange.days |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|07:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | goldfrapp - 'utopia' | ] |
who.are.we
who.we.are
(you will probably not)Follow.Me |
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| this.old.house |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|06:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | pulp - 'sunshine' | ] |
These are a few images from the oldest house in historic Queenston Ontario, where I took my students from Willowbank (school of restoration arts) during a recent lecture series on photography (specifically photography of decay) which I was giving there.
Sadly, the house will soon be demolished...
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| hi.there |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|08:41 pm] |
"William Gibson met Tim Burton in a dark alley off Phillip K Dick Boulevard and they did this to you right?" (Sniderscion). |
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| the.visit |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|06:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bent - 'as you fall' | ] |
Today we drove an hour or so each way to wish my cousin for her confirmation.
I have a love/hate relationship with the drive because of what was going on 2 years ago around this time, when we made that same drive...
it.started.to.rain/i.don't.think.i.could.ever.live.in.the.country
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| miles.to.go.before.i.sleep |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | air - 'radian' | ] |
(2 parts... )
/which one do you like better?/why is that?/ |
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| stuck.in.the.middle |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|08:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sigur ros - 'staralfur' | ] |
(over. )
(under. ) |
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| shored.against.my.ruin |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|02:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | boards of canada - 'everything you do is a balloon' | ] |
(Myself, Dresden, and Evidence met up, early one morn'...)
How was your weekend? |
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